Blah, Blah, Gas Prices, Blah

By even acknowledging the proceeding subject goes a ways to play into the proverbial hands I'm about to slap, but my frustration is peaked. I'm sick and tired of hearing about gas prices. Yes, the title quotes my girl Rihanna's latest hit, but unlike her mind-grabbing tunes, the continuous exposure of our nation's oil problem is not nearly as catchy as one of her Top-40 mixes.

You see, to complain about a gas price is like beating your child for dropping a plate of spaghetti: There's nothing you can do about it. That's why I flinch each time a co-worker or passerby pontificates the evils of an oil corporation or political stance.

On the NBC Nightly News tonight, Brian Williams pulled out the trusty old 'email bag' and began reciting lines from viewer emails. There was nothing special about the emailers, just your typical Kenny Midwest or Vanessa Down South. The thesis statement of each note was, you guessed it, 'feel bad for us because we have to pay for gas.'

To paraphrase a couple of the entries: (please note I'm not making up these lines)

"This summer will be different than most. Instead of grilling steaks and racks of ribs, we have to settle for regular hamburgers and hot dogs."

"Typically, we go to the beach for a week. This year, we will have to drive to the nearest beach in the morning and drive back the same day."

"We're going to have to rent movies on cable instead of going to the theaters."

At that point, I couldn't bear the sob stories any longer. My mind was rife with pessimism and sympathy.

Give me a break. Hamburgers and hot dogs instead of steak and ribs? What a shame. A day beach trip instead of a whole week? Get me the Kleenex. Pay per view movies instead of a night at the Cineplex? Quick Molly, get me the revolver. We can't live like this any longer.

The audacity of these people to send these comments as if they have some sort of legitimate plight. Furthermore, a double minus goes to Brian Williams. Isn't he supposed to be reporting actual news, not regurgitating tales of woe from Josh and Annie from Greenville, South Carolina?

By no means have I always been the most sympathetic person - many times I think people in a bad situation don't do enough to remove themselves from their problems - but on the same token, there are people out there who have bigger problems than having to go to the beach for just one day instead of five. Some folks can't have the electricity required to make the begrudging choice to stay at home on a Friday night and watch There Will be Blood.

Sure, anyone would rather have steaks and ribs than hamburgers or hot dogs, but if you can't, so what? I've never seen a more American problem than to make the hard decision of cutting off one luxury item to move down a rung to a less expensive luxury item.

To quote the immortal Curb episode "The Survivor," when a former Survivor (TV) contestant was arguing with another former Survivor (The Holocaust), "Have you ever seen our show? You never have anything to eat and someones always trying to back stab you." 'Have you seen our show? It was called...THE HOLOCAUST!!!!!!"

For all of the complaining and squabbling people are doing over the cost of a gallon of gas, no one seems to do anything to even improve their situation a little bit. Well, aside of course from eating burgers instead of rib eyes.

Rather than complaining, why not save $1500 and buy a small car for your commute to work? Some of you need a truck for your job? That's not anyone else's problem, so please quit forcing it on us.

Just face facts. The world is changing. Every bit of it. Guess what? I remember the days when gas was 95 cents a gallon too. And I'm 23 years old. Oh, you remember it at 50 cents a gallon? 25 cents a gallon? Well shame on you for living in the past. These "why me?" and "we're owed" attitudes displayed by a good many people in this country are as sickening as the volatile prices of energy, fuel and food.

The old days are dead and gone. The best way to "My dad worked everyday of his life but sucked it up and bared it without ever complaining," is to suck it up and bare it like the generations before us. The problems we face today are different than the ones in the past, but that shouldn't change the way we handle it. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can get back to enjoying your life...One two dollar movie at a time.

The Honeymoon's Over, Penguins

Well, there it is Penguins. Your first lost of the 2008 playoffs. Out the window is the chance to become the first team since the Oilers in 1985 (by memory, if that is wrong correct me) to win their first eight playoff games in a single playoff season. From the eyes of this uneducated fan, there wasn’t any lack of hustle or complacency, ya just lost the game. After all, the Rangers are a good team. Beating them twice on their home ice would be tough. Besides, what’s sweeter than a series-clinching victory on home ice in front of 20,000 raucous fans?

There is one thing I’d like to let you in on, though. The honeymoon is over. As they say, welcome to Pittsburgh, aka, the most pessimistic and critical sports town on earth, with one of the most uneducated fan bases this side of the Siberia golf league.

On the drive to work today, I could just hear it in the radio DJ’s voice. It was all they could do to not criticize the Pens for losing one game. One asked, "Sooo, how many points does Crosby have in this series?" His question was laced with judgment, but fortunately, the sports guy on the other end sat in silence until muttering, "Uhhh, I don’t have it in front of me, but quite a few."

The answer is four, and you would think a person getting paid to absorb the sports knowledge of the day would have an answer to how many points hockey’s biggest star would have in this series.

That’s the problem with bandwagon Pittsburgh hockey fans. Admittedly, I’m a bandwagon Penguins fan. No question about it. But, as I’ve said before, I only know two people who were fans while the team sucked. Bandwagon fans, regardless of the sport, should be prohibited from publicly or privately offering any sort of negative or critical opinion on the state of the team.

Pittsburgh is a town that feels connected to its teams. It all goes back to the 1970s and the steel bust and the blah blah blah story we’ve heard ten thousand times before. So with the Steelers it is expected. Steeler Nation is incredibly vocal in their support (or disdain) of their team. Despite 70% of the fans not knowing a damn thing about the game, they still feel entitled to scream their opinion from the nearest sports talk show.

With hockey it’s a completely different story. I’m figuring roughly 95% of current Penguins ‘fans’ know nothing more about hockey than goals, assists, offsides and icing. These are the same people that will diagnose the Penguins’ loss, or why they aren’t playing nearly as well as they should be. I don't believe for one second that anyone aside from Scott or Cory can tell me anything about hockey that can be considered educated.

So for now, Penguins, you remain the sootiest city’s darlings. But if this whole ‘losing games’ thing continues, expect to be lambasted, insulted, and generally discredited as athletes humans by people who have absolutely no right to do so.